How to Resolve Family Conflict (2023)

Introduction

This is the first video in the Anger Management 101: Parents series.

How do unresolved events and conflicts influence your communication and relationship with your parents?
Why is it important to look back at the events that seem to have been resolved on a surface level, but that you are still feeling emotional about?
How does one simple moment with one or both of your parents turn into a huge conflict?
How can you start changing your relationship with your parents and in so doing, maybe even support them?

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Content

Hi everyone, this is Senate.

And in this video, we are continuing with anger management specifically having a look at anger, you might be holding on to or experiencing in moments in relation to your parents all right or.

You know, the people in your life who stand as a parental figure for you or to you.

So why is it important that we have a look at this relationship between anger and resentment that you might be holding on to in relation to your parents? So if we have a look at family dynamics, I mean, your parents will always be a part of your life in some way or another, whether they are a part of your life in the sense of living with them visiting them often seeing them every now.

And then, or even if they're not a part of your life in the present or right now, they're still very much a part of your life in your mind.

Right? So, therefore, I mean, if we have a look at all relationships, no it's so look at here's.

You and here's, your parents or parent with them being a part of your life, whether in your mind or in everyday life, if you have a look at accepting and allowing that anger to exist within you in any way whatsoever, the anger can be like this time bomb, right where moments can unfold in spending time with them or just thinking about them or accessing memories.

And then all of a sudden a moment of communication or interaction can very easily turn into a conflict or an argument or a fight now it's interesting how so many people have simply come to accept anger.

You know in in, especially when it comes out unexpectedly suddenly.

And then a conversation goes into an argument, conflict, fighting whether big or small and then afterward, you know, everyone is like, okay, let it go it's been sorted out.

We've found a solution.

But yet, if you honestly have a look at those moments that you've had with your parents and the memories that you have of arguments and fights and conflicts and things like that, it always remains a part of you.

It becomes part of your memory base.

All right is the question that we essentially have to ask ourselves is are these moments of conflicts where your anger comes out toward your parents it's like I mean, are those moments really resolved? You know, within yourself and your relationship with your parents and most well, honestly for themselves, seeing no they're, not most of the time everything could be okay on the outside.

You know, appearance-wise when you spend time with your parents when you see them when you talk to them when you have the little moments with them where everything might seem okay, but on the inside inside your mind in all the little memories, you've accumulated in relation to conflicts.

Everything is honestly, not hundred-percent.

Okay in your relationship with yourself and with your parents and it's, all these memories of unresolved issues and experiences inside yourself that can come out and transform a moment into conflict argument and fighting where what comes up is the anger all right.

And then what happens is you have then another moment with your parent, and you get angry and upset and talk it through, you know, do get to a solution in some way or another outside appearance is fine.

But on the inside there, you've got another memory more issues reactions and experiences in relation to your parents and overtime all right.

This can eventually lead to you creating a completely alternate relationship between you and your parents right in in your mind right? And what do I mean with creating a complete alternate relationship between you and your parents in your mind is that eventually all of these suppressed memories right in relation to conflicts that you've had with your parents.

You can start building and building and building, and you can start creating ideas about your parents about your relationship with your parents inside your mind that can become very emotional, right? And you can throughout time either one or two things can happen.

You will suppress all of that inside yourself, where you actually become irritated or frustrated and not likely to spend time with your parents, but where you will still do it right to, please them to keep them happy to keep the rest of the family happen, happy or meaning where you will just some moments exert all of this anger inside yourself in moments with with your parents, where it's just been accepted that the relationship with your parents is fueled with conflict and and emotion, or in the third direction, which is where all ties can be savored, where you simply don't want your parents to be a part of you a part of your life at all anymore, right? And all of this can come from this relationship where you have reacted in anger within yourself in relation to parents, but suppress it keep quiet about it.

And not really looked at it for yourself int, respected it given their motion looked at memories, looked at moments and have more honest, open intimate and clear discussions with your parents, all right.

So what we're going to be assisting and supporting within the videos to come is? Firstly, how to become self honest about these memories of conflicts with your parents, are there any memories that contain this emotion of anger? Okay, because if that is going to stay inside of you in your mind and body it's going to continue building and building and building up.

And as long as that exists within you your relationship with your parents cannot change, and then you'll have more and more of these unpredictable, unexpected moments of conflict and anger and emotions coming out and then that's going to start defining your relationship with your parents, instead of how different your communication and interaction with your parents can be and become by.

You know, you being honest with yourself being more open with them and the communication being a lot more stable.

You know, you can get to a point of where let's say, yes, how your parents for example, or your parents, take on a particular situation, and they become all like stressful about it.

You know, now you usually got angry when that happens now with you learning how to let go of the anger, okay.

And instead be more stable when your parents approach you in that way, you could maybe support them and saying, hey, um, when you approach me in that energy, it like rattles me, and then it feels like I want to become angry, right? But I don't want to become angry anymore.

So can we maybe rather sit down and talk about this over coffee or drink or something? You know, rather than speaking in this emotion and the stress.

And you know that happening, because if I'm gonna get angry and you're going to be in that stress, then the only thing that's gonna happen is we're gonna have a fight and I don't want this to go into a fight.

So you know, can we rather talk about this more normally? You know, so it's interesting, how much children can actually support their parents parents can support their children in just making that one difference in your relationship within yourself in relation to your parents, looking at your anger issues and are I want to say, anger issues as like like a point, you know, that is where it's like you're the problem because you have the issues, no, no, no, not at all more simply meaning the definition of anger issues to be.

You know, the anger moments in your past is the memories that's defining your relationship with your parents, and you can change all of that, which will change your relationship with your parents as well.

All right we'll go to here for this video and see you in the next.

Thank you very much.

You.